Monday 20th August 2012
Why has it been so difficult? It seems as if the moment I decided to start blogging about my fitness challenge the harder it became—almost instantaneously! I have barely 4 weeks left and it seems as if I just don’t have the energy to continue. I have to clean up my eating in order to move to the next level and enable me to burn the 800g I need to lose to achieve my goals but the moment I start cleaning up my diet I crave, no, CRAVE sweets, chips, bread!! Here I am motivating everyone else yet losing my own motivation? I felt really down today. The fact that I desire to eat the wrong food is upsetting me. The anger or emotion doesn’t in itself make me want to eat, it’s more a lethargy or lack of motivation to kick things up a notch that upsets me….
Thursday 23rd August
Ahh the heat is on! So Montecasino has graciously invited Warren and I to attend a Monte Meander and you know how these media events go…food, drinks, food, networking, food, socialising, food, food, more food and oh did I mention food?? They’re booking us in for the evening as well… I chatted to Carol about how tough August is—event after event, birthday after birthday. In typical Carol fashion I got no sympathy! ”
The thing is Stace, you are always going to have birthdays, events and special occasions. They won’t go away. You have to decide what you eat and what you don’t eat, it’s always your choice.”
Tell me something I don’t know! But she’s 100% on the money…it’s my choice. I have to choose…it’s amazing how we fight for choice or the power to make our own decisions and when we have to choose we actually complain about having to make the choice! A friend of ours shared how his young daughter fought with him for not treating her like an adult. He lovingly—frustrating to her though—told her that if she wants to be treated like an adult she has to take the good with the bad. He can’t treat her like a child when she is an adolescent, similarly if she wants the benefits of being treated like an adult she must be willing to take the cons that come with it!
Dr Myles Munroe, in his book, The Burden of Freedom, explains that only free people have a choice. The essence of bondage or slavery or oppression was the removal of one’s choice and, in becoming free, the previously oppressed individual still struggles with the mental effects of slavery or oppression: the inability choose! Empowerment is supposed to put you in the position to exercise right choice. I use the word exercise because it should be a process of development over the rest of your life! If this fitness challenge hasn’t empowered me, enabled me to make the right choice or better choices at the very least, then it would all be for naught! Giving up choice or the battle to make a good decision over a bad decision is in essence relinquishing my freedom! That’s what laziness is!!
I don’t want to go back to the beginning only to get to the point where I have to do it all again. When I was overweight, complaining about my weight and not exercising I was lazy. I was not making any decisions—that automatically equals making poor decisions!
We grow by the choices we make…which reminds me of my very first post: Are you willing to pay the price? This means I have to ask myself some tough questions again…this is why I am at this point! The questioning will take me to the next level. Am I happy with the progress I’ve made thus far? Do I still want to achieve more? Why? How much more? Do I need to reassess my goals? Are they still realistic? Do I want to grow? Do I want to make the right choices? Do I want to move to the next level?
Only once I answer these questions will I have the peace AND the motivation!
Friday 24th August
It’s one day before my 29th birthday. I’m feeling really chilled about it. I ate a whole lot of biltong last night at the Monte meander. It was lean biltong but I ate WAY too much LOL. I didn’t eat the crisps though and drank a lot of water. Dinner was fillet and I didn’t have the carb but I did eat the dessert, terrible crème brûlée. Oh man that’s the second time I’ve had a dessert that wasn’t worth it, which makes me realise that I need to PLAN my cheat meals just as much as I plan my clean meals. This means I will always enjoy my cheat meals, I won’t waste them on meals that are crappy and therefore won’t feel guilt afterwards!
Sunday 26th August
My birthday was AWESOME! It started off quite shaky but the reasons don’t pertain to my fitness challenge. Well, actually I suppose they do because I’m now appreciative of the fact that I am not an emotional eater. When I feel down I don’t crave any specific foods and the same goes for when I’m happy. So despite waking up and feeling sad about certain things that had happened regarding my birthday, I didn’t feel the need to ‘make it better’ with breakfast—which was lovely by the way